Communication on Fire? Stop, Drop, And Roll

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And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell.  James 3:6

Are you the smackdown king in your marriage? Do you have a blackbelt in Tongue-Foo?  Do you have a quick, witty, albeit cutting, remark on hand for quick and easy use?

Mercier and I are both adept at making the snide remark or two; however, our goal is to maintain healthy communication. (I say “goal” because, much like yourself, we are only human and are bound to make mistakes.)

When I observe couples engaging in this sort of tit-for-tat war (when really a simple answer would suffice), I am reminded the fire prevention public service announcements during Saturday cartoons: Stop, Drop, and Roll Continue reading Communication on Fire? Stop, Drop, And Roll

Dirty Socks and the Curse

dirty socks on floor

You’re not going to wear dirty socks, are you?

It’s amazing what words will set off the fireworks.  What we think is mothering, a natural instinct to protect, can morph into one of the most dangerous territories for wives: the desire to control.

And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you. ~ Genesis 3:16b NLT 

In eighteen years of marriage, has my husband ever worn dirty socks? No. I know better than to nag my husband and I am constantly telling my girlfriends not to emasculate their husbands. Yet this morning there was a critical failure in the filter between my head and mouth.

This is part of the curse.  We “desire our husband” as the NKJV says but he will rule over us.  The New Living Translation says that the curse will be our desire to control our husbands and I am inclined to believe this. Continue reading Dirty Socks and the Curse

Marriage: Concession, Confession, Communication, and Consecration

National Marriage WeekIn honor of National Marriage Week (Feb 7-14), I would like to write about some of my thoughts.  In June I will have been married for 18 years which has given me plenty of time to make nearly every mistake possible.  I can truly say it is a miracle that our marriage is strong and it is the third cord that has kept us bound together.

Concession

To concede. Very difficult  yes; hard on the old ego.  Merriam-Webster defines “concession” as:

1a : the act or an instance of conceding (as by granting something as a right, accepting something as true, or acknowledging defeat) b : the admitting of a point claimed in argument
How many arguments are you willing to initiate or contend with over loading the dishwasher?  How about doing laundry?  How to fold socks?  What to cook for dinner? You get the point.  It was the first year of marriage that was the most difficult to me because of the adjustments.  He was used to living a certain way and I another.  I had two loads of laundry: whites and not-whites.  He separates by color and fabric.  How many arguments can your relationship endure before it reaches a breaking point?  These are points where concession is advised.  “Pick  your battles,” as they say, is such a great chunk of wisdom. Continue reading Marriage: Concession, Confession, Communication, and Consecration